About

My name is Jason; just some thirtysomething dude who lives in Northern California, pursuing a Ph.D. in Philosophy after years as a research scientist.

I was raised in the culturally isolated world of fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity, the American kind. A world of only Evangelical books, movies, schools, friends, and family. A world filled with being slain in the spirit, speaking in heavenly tongues, and supernatural works. My heroes were prophets, apostles, and miracle workers and I intended to follow in their footsteps. I was certain that I knew the truth about our human condition and was emboldened to tell the world about it. But, like so many before me, once out in a secular environment, I came into contact with information that conflicted with what I had been raised to believe was indisputable truth.

I experienced two rejections of a life in the service of Christ. The first was emotional. I felt wronged by the people with which I entrusted my future. The second was an intellectual one following a couple years of investigation into what we can be certain about as a species when it comes to the reality in which we inhabit. It was the latter that led to an obsession with the truth, as best as we can make of it. During my period of discovery, I was infuriated to discover in my early twenties that most of the things I thought to be up for debate were, in fact, not. There was no conspiracy of the godless to keep people from salvation, no eternal struggle of good and evil. I was embarrassed that the stories of supernatural healing’s that I had been repeating, or even witnessed, were at best hearsay and at worst a hoax. It was distressing to find that the God who had a special, divine purpose for my life had been intellectually dead since pretty much the founding of our country. It is a long way from born again Christian to existential nihilist and hopefully, these digestions will serve as a road map.

I am obsessed with the “big questions.” I think it is imperative to constantly question the validity of my reality. The failure to do so as a youth left me without a coherent worldview for many years. A few epiphanies later, I feel compelled to be here trying to convert you. The irony in going out of my way to convince strangers that I am right about the true nature of the universe and human existence is not lost on me. Like a true Jesus freak, just in an unbelieving form. Only this time around, the facts are on my side.

This is an existential nihilist blog. What I post here will primarily be in support of this position and the consequences of its acceptance. My interests can vary from current events, to bioethics, philosophy of mind, or to metaphysics. I write to practice the craft, strengthen my prose, and plot out grand ideas from my head on paper. To you the reader, it is my desire that you at the least find these posts informative, hopefully thought-provoking, and sometimes funny if I am lucky.

The subjects I like to tackle usually involve a fair amount of research. Therefore, posts usually take the shape of the “long reads” type. I will experiment with mixing in an occasional stream of consciousness, foul language and all.

Lastly, I have no time for the life is meaningless, woe is me lament. Our futile, incomprehensible existence is something to be celebrated.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the time you spend with me.

Any and all criticism is welcome.

All the mountain shots are from my love affair with the Sierra Nevada’s, California.